- Dahon 7 speed folding bike, in reasonable working order. Purchased with dreams of vacations by V-Line coach, never used for said purpose.
- Two lawnmowers, somewhat functional though noisy and stink-belching. I’ll always appreciate the kindness of the people who gave them to me.
- A king-sized sheet, blue cotton, purchased in mistake for a double-sized one, and not returned within the 28 day window.
- Three dozen eggs, collecting gradually in the fridge as I haven’t seen my housemate for a week and a half.
- My Etsy wishlist, preferably by acquiring all the items on it.
- Three rosemary bushes, quite advanced, self-propagated in my front yard. I guess the urge to survive and reproduce is strong.
- Two large clumps of lemon balm. I wasn’t paying attention and they got out of control.
- The soil in the place where a hole should be.
- The hole I can’t fill in until I’ve contacted the government.
- The contents of eight bottles of cherry-plum mead, brewed experimentally, turned weirdly sludgy.
- A big pile of dirty dishes, as usual.
- So many little ziplock bags, to be filled with seeds and given away.
- About half an inch of hair on my head.
- The cracks in my heels.
- A splinter in my left pinkie, which I can’t get out and worry might get infected.
- Two (2) breasts, preferably by magic/without surgery.
- Something stuck in the tube of my vacuum cleaner, preventing it from fulfilling its purpose in life.
- My unpaid taxes.
- The elm-seeds that blew everywhere in spring, got into the laundry, and are clustered in a dirty heap down the side of the washing machine.
- A lot of miniature capsicum seedlings, orange and chocolate. Ready to plant now.
- Codling moth.
- Several things I bought online, impulsively, and which are the wrong size or colour or broken or never worked.
- The regret I feel over those impulse purchases.
- Whatever’s preventing me picking up the phone to make an appointment.
- A large mirror with a wooden frame, currently sitting awkwardly on the back porch.
- Clothes that are too big, but it feels like tempting fate to let them go.
- A jar with a label that won’t soak off. I give up. And yet, recycling it is a surprisingly complex endeavour these days.
- These Christmas cards I meant to send already.
- Scott Morrison.
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